Reason To Make Me President of the World: Number 1

Date: in the future....sometime soon....

BROOK NUDE EVERYDAY THANKS TO MIGHTY PRESIDENT!

Kelly Brook before ripping off all her clothes in sexual frenzy.

To the delight of all men across the world today, Kelly Brook today was announced as the patron for the government's new Female Nudity Benefit Scheme (FNBS).

Under the scheme, created by World President Dixon, women between the ages of 18 and 30 will get the chance to claim free entry to the cinema, bowling alleys and £200 a month from the government just by walking around in the buff!

However, prospective candidates will face a big test to earn the privileges available.

Every week, ten women from across the world will appear on ITV1's new 'What A Pair Of Tits' show (hosted by Ant and Dec) with a chance to win a place on the scheme. After previewing each contestant in the nip, viewers get to decide by telephone which women are too ugly for a place on the FNBS, while the hottest girls get the chance to shed their clothes and join the scheme for a 5-year period!

After the announcement, Ms Brook disrobed and said: 'This is what I've waited for my whole life. I've always hated clothes and love it when repugnant, sweaty, perverse men stare at my naked flesh'

'I just hope I can raise awareness of the great work my husband, President Dixon, is doing to promote beauty and sexiness. He's always been passionate about this and finally we may all see the wonderful day when ugly people are deservedly ridiculed for their twisted, disproportionate features.'

What a Pair of Tits' starts this Saturday on ITV1 at 8pm.