10 Urban Myths About Lee Cattermole...(made up by me)

1. He has nine fingers on his left hand

2. His bones are stainless steel

3. At primary school he used to break his teacher's legs when his felt tips ran out

4. He doesn't eat normal food, but the raw remains of dead lions

5. He can kill you with a stare

6. He taught George Boateng everything he knows...when he was 10

7. He only talks in cryptic whispers (eg. "would you put the washing machine across the field?")

8. He always reads this blog.

9. He breaks pint glasses over bouncers' heads 'for fun'.

10. He was found in a straw basket by the River Tees in 1989 by Steve Gibson, and given a trial on the spot.