Kidnapping and Celebrity...

The other day at work I was sat on my till when a customer put a copy of Woman magazine under my delicate nose for me to scan. As I scanned it through I noticed one of the headlines on the front-page: 'Captive to Celebrity: Natascha's shocking next move'.

As you may or may not know, this is referring to Natascha Kampusch, the Austrian girl found recently after being held captive for 8 years by the wonderfully named Wolfgang Priklopil. You may also know that she's become a bit famous in Austria as everyone wants to know her story.

Now then, I don't know what exactly the headline on the front of Woman was referring to, but I know if I'd lost 8 years of my life to a kidnapping I'd milk it for all its worth. EIGHT years locked up in a soundproof cellar in a cage she believed to be wired with explosives!

Fucking hell, I'd do everything once I was out: TV interviews, Celebrity Masterchef, even Love Island! You can almost imagine her doing Stars in the Eyes: 'Tonight singing live, Ms Kampusch is Tina Arena!!!!'

That's a joke by the way.

Tina Arena? Song called 'Chains'? Forget about it, I understand not many of you are mini-Paul Gambaccinis.

Paul Gambaccini? Musicologist? Fuck it.

Anyway, my point is Austria (as I know Austrians read my blog all the time), give the girl a break! Eight years! Can you imagine the amount of Coronation St she has to catch up on?!