Tramp Humour and More Thoughts On Sex...

Tramps are such a gentle kind of being. No one sees them during the day, unless they're in shops haggling for a can of Special Brew or trying to steal a Tracker bar. However when night falls, they're everywhere.

Also Lincoln, is it me or has there been an increase in the number of tramps on our streets since we've headed towards Christmas? What a coincidence that as the 'Season of Good Will' falls on us, that people suddenly are begging in the streets. Bizarre.

I was approached by one such hairy hobo just the other day. One the way to work two of em were shouting at me from the other side of the road. I paid no mind to it, mainly as I couldn't hear them I was listening to my MP3 player (haha, take that u trampy bastards).

Eventually I realised they were shouting at me and I took out my earphones and talked to them.

"Can I help?" I said, knowing I really didn't want to.

"Yeh, mate. We've been out in the cold all night, homeless u see. Could u spare some change so we can get a coffee or something?"

"Erm...well, i'm sorry", I replied decisively, "I've got no change"

"That's ok" They shouted back. "We'll just have your tenner instead then!"

Haha. What's he doin living on the streets when, with lines like that, the geez is obviously destined for stand-up. Lazy fat tramps.

Today I also have a couple more comments on sex. Things not to say now include:

I wish you were someone else.
I wish you had a cock (unless you're saying it to a man with no cock, as then it is a compliment)
Your sister didn't do it that way (thanks Sarah!)

Please people, keep em coming. Post them on the comments or email me and the definitive list will be up on Friday.

A couple of last words: Come on 'Boro!