England, Alcohol and disillusionment....this is not an Arctic Monkey's song

It is always best to try and forward plan your life and the moments you think will be key in it.

That statement, and that statement alone, was the reason why I side-stepped any possibility of choking when answering the question 'where were you when England were drawn in Euro 2008 qualifying group with Russia, Croatia, Israel, FYR Macedonia, Estonia and Andorra?' this morning.

Yes I sat down and watched Eurosport (begrudgingly, as Sky Sports News was showing the draw several seconds quicker) this morning to see the qualifying draw for the next European Championships, the poor man's World Cup.

To be fair, it passed without incident. We all know that Wales, Scotland and the two Irelands (I always wonder why no one's suggested combining those two) never get through to the final tournament so it wasn't stunning to see them drawn with teams like Czech Rep, Italy, Spain and France.

The only real shock was when my housemate Sam suggested that the 'fella pulling out the balls with the teams in 'em' looked a bit creepy. That this 'fella' happened to be probably Switzerland's finest ever player, Stephane Chapuisat (below), disturbs me. But then again, great players and good looks have never really gone hand in hand anyway. Just look at (if you can without vomiting) the faces of Ronaldinho and Rooney.

In other news today, I'm going off booze! Yes really!
The last two times I've been out I've found myself being put off by lager, spirits and other assorted alcoholic drinks, thus not enjoying the nights out. It had dawned on me at one point that this many have just been due to the company I was with at the time, but it seems booze is the more reasonable explanation.

This post is therefore a warning. If you see me with a Coke in my hand in Scream, don't laugh, give me a pat on the back and say 'good on ya for getting off the booze'. It's what George Best could've done with.

Also, I've discovered myself a new televisual hero. Russell Brand, presenter of the world's most rubbish TV programme ever Big Brother's Big Mouth, singlehandedly makes his show worth watching. He's irreverent, funny and occasionally leaves his audience completely baffled by what comes out of his mouth.

One moment like that happened last night. When trying to calm the noisy audience down he shouted 'Shut up shut up this program isn't a democracy, its like Iraq in the good old days!'

In that single moment, he shocked half of his audience (and a couple of my housemates) into silence. PersonallyI was laughing my tits off, especially as George Galloway was a guest on the show. Pure liquid wonderment.

Someone must give him is own Richard & Judy/Paul O'Grady chatshow...it would sink without trace but be funny as fuck. Why didn't C4 give him the Friday Night Project instead of that gay fella and beardy weirdy, who have dragged a good idea for a show into television's dustbins?

Until next time...