Films...

My appetite remains moist for Superman Returns, but attention also shifts to the future...

YouTube has the recent Spiderman 3 teaser up, which just scares the beegeesus out of me. So many questions still unanswered! Will Venom actually appear or is it just the symbiote suit this time? Is Peter going to jump Gwen Stacy's bones? Is Harry Osbourne the Green Goblin 2, the Hobgoblin or just a man in a camp suit?

The mystery.

Also I've been somewhat perturbed by the idea of a Jeff Buckley biopic being in development. Handled correctly, it would no doubt be wonderful, but handled badly (loads of comparisons to dad, cheesy, over-sentimental etc.) it could be shite.

Plus, who would play him? The very thought of someone being miscast also petrifies me. Could be a bad idea.

Fucking chocolate milk....

It's milk yeah, which means it's healthy (it's from cows, one of the healthiest animals), mixed with a little chocolate.

Turns out it's fucking rammed with calories and has some laxative effects....what the fuck!

I've just drank a litre of it and the toilets in a worse state than Nagasaki in '45.

Fucking chocolate milk.

England Expects and A Dead Dream....

An epiphany occurred to me on Sunday evening as, like millions of others, I was bored senseless by our national football team in their extremely laboured destruction of Ecuador.

Is it possible that my suggestion to friends of 'would you be happy if they played rubbish, ground out 1-0 wins in every game and won the world cup?' could be coming true.

For the first time in the whole tournament, I'm quite confident of a result against Portugal. I think the players will be up for it and have shown their ability to stifle the opposing side's attacks very well. The only real chance Ecuador made was due to John Terry's slight lapse in the first 15 minutes, while the goals against Sweden just came from very obvious defensive mistakes. Avoid these in these latter stages and we will be water-tight.

Alas, it wasn't to be for the Aussies going down to the worst refereeing this side of the Portugal game a day earlier. Quite how anyone can argue there is a case for a penalty when Grosso just falls over Neill's already grounded body is difficult for me to see.

Anyway, it wasn't to last and the Aussies acquitted themselves well. Well played to all the Boro boys, in particular Super Schwarz, without whom the score could have been very different yesterday.

In Praise of....Mark Viduka

It would be so easy to criticise the big man as he has yet to score in three World Cup matches. However watching the mindblowing game against Croatia last night, it dawned on me that in this Australian side that is not one of his key tasks.

Playing upfront essentially on his own, (except when Hiddink deploys Aloisi and Kennedy in the last 15 minutes...and he always does!) Viduka's key task is to hold up the ball for the midfield runners, usually one of Cahill, Kewell or Bresciano. Last night he did that to an outstanding degree, despite having his shirt essentially ripped off his back on several occasions.

Of course one could now bask in the error Hiddink made by not playing Schwarzer, but there is no need to say anything on the subject as Kalac did enough on his own to show why he shouldn't be involved in the Italy clash.

However, as a Boro fan, I'm proud of both Skippy and Vids and only now is it that I realise what an extremely good frontman Mark Viduka still is, especially when he's not scoring goals.

20 Non-England Related Reasons To Watch The World Cup...

As we all know, the old English have been a tad shit so far at this world cup. But before we get down about the prospect of losing to the passionate Ecuadorians, I'd like to remind you (yes you!) of several other reasons why it's worth watching the World Cup, as England certainly isn't one of them...

1. Andrea Pirlo - Obviously knew of him before the tournament but WOW, he makes up for the lack of fitness in Totti by being able to pick out any Italian from anywhere between 3 to 50 yards. Also plays a killer throughball, let's hope the Italians don't go out this afternoon.

2. The underdog - Also known as the African sides, who have toiled away hopelessly and passionately without making it through the first stage. Other sides who may take up this mantle in the second round include Mexico.....and Ecuador.

3. Australia - Amazing comeback against the Japs, then a spirited but ultimately doomed performance against the Brazilians, these guys should be everyone's second fave team. Any team with Mark Viduka as captain deserves to be acclaimed.

4. Great TEAM play - Now, I for one love Joe Cole's stepovers but sides like the Argies and the Spanish have shown the others how to play team football in this tournament. Spain are full of flicks and tricks and despite not particularly aiding their attacking play, it looks damn fine. As for the Argies, well they've won the cup haven't they? Great team.

5. The Van Persie/Robben/Van Nistelrooy trio - The Dutch don't do things by halfs so when they mean business, and they always mean business, they use the 4-3-3! These guys have their fair share of haters but they can play great attacking football. I like watching them all together and they should add to what could be a great game against the Portuguese in the second round.

6. Shock Results - One of the greatest outcomes of any tournaments are the shock results. Stand up Ghana in particular for their defeat of the Kollerless Czechs and well done to the 9 man Yanks for holding the 10 man Italians. Compelling football.

7. Silly Sendings Off - In particular the ones that confuse and the ones that absolutely disgust. Daniele Di Rossi's, of Boro-bashed Roma fame, red card was a disgrace and was well spotted by the ref...who was stood three yards away. Elbowing doesn't pay people.

8. The Punditry of Gareth Southgate - He started off really stiff but has now relaxed into his role as ITV's newest co-commentator. The future leader of the Red Army also showed some wit when Rooney was subbed against Sweden, "Come in Wayne, your tea's ready". What a card.

9. Leonardo's spectacular accent - Displacing Mark Lawrenson(!) as the most attractive man on BBC Sport, Brazil's Leonardo combines amazing hair with a wonderous accent that has given every average man a new idol to aspire to, and every gay man a new bum to chase.

10. The Lawrenson/Motson combo - As infuriating as they are witty, these guys make for good TV. Listen out for the moments Motson makes a bad joke and Lawro can be heard just off the mic laughing his tits off. I love them.

11. Laugh at the French - Rubbish against Switzerland, lacked the confidence to kill off Korea, lets hope the OAPs in the French team do the right thing and just lose to Togo. That might make me laugh so hard I wee a bit.

12. Phillipe Lahm - A right back?? at left back?? Preposterous! Except when he scores the opening goal of the tournament with an absolute stunner. Also works his arse off down the left and provides much quality service for Klose, Podolski etc. Germany has a new hero. Also quite short.

13. Jurgen Klinsmann - What a disgrace that the German coach lives in Cali. However the Deutsche don't care now they look like worldbeaters. Just a shame they haven't played a GOOD team yet. I hope he comes on if they get to the final.

14. Ronaldinho's rubbish - Do you remember those brilliant things he did against Croatia and the Aussies? No. For all the flicks and tricks which make us marvel when we're watching Nike adverts, he looks a bit sheepish when playing with the big boys. Kaka fucking rocks though.

15. Fat Ronaldo - No further comment required.

16. Fabio Cannavaro - OK OK, I might be licking the Italian's balls a bit but for all the petulance (Mr Di Rossi again) in their side, they have a hell of a captain who plays with pride and passion every time he pulls on that blue shirt. He's all puffed-out chested honour, a real hero for the Italians. As you can tell, I love him.

17. The noticeable toning down of Ian Wright - After everyone's started moaning about him being a Sven hating kid, he seems to have calmed himself down and wants to be taken a touch more seriously. Watch him! He's so restrained all the time!

18. Great goals - Torres v Ukraine, Frings v Costa Rica, Joe Cole v Sweden, Cambiasso v Serbia and M to name just a few. There's been some corkers and there'll be even more to come. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention the Korea goal against the French....stupid French.

19. The possibility of a re-run of Freddie Flintoff's sozzled cameo before the Paraguay game - Expect, when England hit the semis, our cricket captain to appear oncemore slurring his words and leaning on Steve Harmison. A personal highlight of mine from the competition and it only happened on its second day.

20. Steve Rider
I can't decide where he looks more out of place, presenting football or being on ITV. Marvel at his confusion!

Stewie relaxing in Germany against a seemingly French wall...

Yes you do fucking love it, YES YOU DO, YES YOU FUCKING DO, GET IN STEWIE LAD!

I love him...and the Boro....and Robert Huth.

When does the new season start?

Reasons to be cheerful...

1. England won on Saturday.
2. Stewie Downing played for 30 minutes.
3. They're two points clear at the top of their group.
4. Because my result matched the one a can of Carling gave me, I won £5.

Despite being at work for the second half, I'm rather jubilant about our shit performance!

Resurrections, Pupil Power and Soft Rock...

Sitting in a pub on Sunday waiting for the quiz to start, I noticed that there was a goldfish bowl on the bar in which there was a fish which seemed to be not moving and floating at the top of the bowl.

"Do you think it's dead?" my sister said inquisitively, and I decided to find out. "I'll go and see" I said. (I'm building up suspense here by the way)

So up I strolled to the bar and, looking as innocuous as possible, I gently tapped the side of the bowl where the dead-looking fish laid lifeless. It didn't move, so I walked back to our table and sat down forlornly. "It's a goner" I said as a tear fell down my face.

"Wait..." said my Auntie Barbara, with hope in her eyes, "...it's back fin is....well...it's moving"

I turned around and to my surprise, the fish was swimming around full of life and summer. Indeed it seems that I brought the fish back from the reaches of heaven or hell. Go me.

We lost the quiz.

I went into Woodham Comp today to have a look around and see if I was up to the challenge of invigilating a few exams in the next couple of weeks. Most of the morning was OK and it was nice that a kid said sorry when he nudged into me after I essentially walked into him. That was cool.

Tonight sees Robert Dixon's musical tastes take an interesting turn into the genre of FM radio rock with a trip to St James' Park to see Bryan Adams rock out Geordieland. I'd like to say I'm exciting except I musn't be as I keep forgetting that it's actually tonight he's on. Whoops. I'm going primarily for the singalong factor, so a big rendition of Everything I Do would be quality!

Back home...

Bonjour!

I'm in Darlington! Yeah! Really!

The university thing (many refer to it as an adventure but I feel there weren't enough gunfights for it to be a specific 'adventure') has finished and now you will find me most days at Morrisons, Morton Park no doubt being bored out of my skull.

Of course in my free time I am searching for that elusive job. It remains incredibly elusive as I am yet to really understand what it is I want to do in the media. However applications I going in to various places so you never know what I could be up to next.

Since I've been back I've spent days sorting out my room, seeing relatives and basically reimmersing myself in home. Initially it was difficult but I'm getting on with it now.

I know many of my readers look at this site specifically looking forward to my next rant on something to do with the 'Boro. Today's rant however is a positive one, as the Boat is on board with a new contract! He is incredibly underrated so it figures he should stay at a club whose fans know his value. One of the biggest pros of being home is that the Northern Echo is far quicker on Boro stories than any outlet I had while in Lincoln. It broke the Boat story on Tuesday.

Musically, I continue to be completely obsessed with Stadium Arcadium. It's just.....so....long. Most of the tunes are bonzer, although after watching the BBC-i footage of the band on TOTP I grow concerned for mad-cap 'character' bassist, Flea. He seems to have taken craziness to a whole new level with that horrendous orange sweater he can be seen wearing on said film. He looks like a twat.

I also sorted my CDs into alphabetical order today....or maybe I shouldn't have mentioned that.

I saw Cecil and Quince yesterday and Lee showed me and MQ some alarmingly old pictures of when we used to get drunk around each others houses. The pictures are alarming primarily as I have hair in them, which just freaks the shit out of me. We also watched Dodgeball too, as MQ hadn't seen it. What a travesty! It should be made compulsory from the age of 15 that all citizens in the world should watch it, it's off its chuff....in a good way.

And yeah, that's probably the least entertaining post of my blog so far....but FUCK YOU! YEAH YOU!

Also thanks to anyone who has added me as a 'friend' on Myspace. I have 29 now! That's nearly 30!

Peace.