Just a quickie...

As I have a fucking terribly arduous work ethic at the moment, this post is only going to be a quick one focusing on two thoughts i've had today.

1. During my human rights lecture today, I realised it was on 'Human rights: from the Bible to Marx'. Now then, when he was talkin on this subject, the lecturer jumped from discussing the Bible to the Magna Carta.

The Bible was written some 1000 years before the MC, so somewhere along the lines, my lecturer decided that nothing changed in human rights for 1000 years. Did people who thought different to the norm really not argue their point for 1000 years? Bollocks.

2. On page 2 of the Guardian, it now often runs a little section on what bloggers are saying about news events of the day. Now i've noticed that a lot of the blogs they quote from are on this very same server.

So, if you notice that I start ranting about current affairs, please understand it is only to try and get some of my work published in a national newspaper. Thank you.

The End.

England, Alcohol and disillusionment....this is not an Arctic Monkey's song

It is always best to try and forward plan your life and the moments you think will be key in it.

That statement, and that statement alone, was the reason why I side-stepped any possibility of choking when answering the question 'where were you when England were drawn in Euro 2008 qualifying group with Russia, Croatia, Israel, FYR Macedonia, Estonia and Andorra?' this morning.

Yes I sat down and watched Eurosport (begrudgingly, as Sky Sports News was showing the draw several seconds quicker) this morning to see the qualifying draw for the next European Championships, the poor man's World Cup.

To be fair, it passed without incident. We all know that Wales, Scotland and the two Irelands (I always wonder why no one's suggested combining those two) never get through to the final tournament so it wasn't stunning to see them drawn with teams like Czech Rep, Italy, Spain and France.

The only real shock was when my housemate Sam suggested that the 'fella pulling out the balls with the teams in 'em' looked a bit creepy. That this 'fella' happened to be probably Switzerland's finest ever player, Stephane Chapuisat (below), disturbs me. But then again, great players and good looks have never really gone hand in hand anyway. Just look at (if you can without vomiting) the faces of Ronaldinho and Rooney.

In other news today, I'm going off booze! Yes really!
The last two times I've been out I've found myself being put off by lager, spirits and other assorted alcoholic drinks, thus not enjoying the nights out. It had dawned on me at one point that this many have just been due to the company I was with at the time, but it seems booze is the more reasonable explanation.

This post is therefore a warning. If you see me with a Coke in my hand in Scream, don't laugh, give me a pat on the back and say 'good on ya for getting off the booze'. It's what George Best could've done with.

Also, I've discovered myself a new televisual hero. Russell Brand, presenter of the world's most rubbish TV programme ever Big Brother's Big Mouth, singlehandedly makes his show worth watching. He's irreverent, funny and occasionally leaves his audience completely baffled by what comes out of his mouth.

One moment like that happened last night. When trying to calm the noisy audience down he shouted 'Shut up shut up this program isn't a democracy, its like Iraq in the good old days!'

In that single moment, he shocked half of his audience (and a couple of my housemates) into silence. PersonallyI was laughing my tits off, especially as George Galloway was a guest on the show. Pure liquid wonderment.

Someone must give him is own Richard & Judy/Paul O'Grady chatshow...it would sink without trace but be funny as fuck. Why didn't C4 give him the Friday Night Project instead of that gay fella and beardy weirdy, who have dragged a good idea for a show into television's dustbins?

Until next time...

Sandwiches, more boring lectures and Boro....just like any other day

Yo yo, word to ya muthas, ya sistas and ya bruvvas,

Today I'm writing this blog as a tribute to one of the finest pre-packed sandwiches I have ever eaten: The Sandwich King Chicken Tikka Roll.

Available in a roll and wholemeal bread form, this Chicken Tikka filling is so wonderfully amazing due to the way it tastes nothing like Chicken Tikka but is still really nice. Yeah there's chicken in there, there's lettuce but alas...that flourescent pink mayonnaise dressing is definitely not Tikka flavoured. In fact, it tastes like nothing I've ever had before.

I might ring the government to tell them there's a new compound around town! But then again I won't because it's so nice I don't want them to take it away like ET and test it in laboratories. Oh no, I like it in my mouth. It tastes sooo good...

...I'm getting a little erotic about this sarny now, best to nip that in the bud.

In other news, I had a lecture and a seminar this morning. Both were tedious but deeply educational. One was about human rights. I believe in human rights, especially the right to hang dull lecturers. Party!

Also, it looks like Nemeth has left Boro. Good footballer, rubbish striker. Have fun with him Strasbourg!

And, as the Boro boys are in Malaga at the moment, expect this shocking headline in this Sundays papers:

'Football team go to foreign training camp and don't rape anyone'

Ok ok, you won't see that this weekend. It's far too long for a start....

Oh yeah and a nother quick note to show that my slow decent into metal madness continues...i'm listening to Bullet for my Valentine today and my ears hurt.

Uni's back....it's still crap!

Yey! Uni's back!
As I write this post, I've just been to my first lecture of Semester B. It was a lecture on the unit of 'Developments in the Information Industries'.....yes, I have no idea what it was about either.

The thing I always find so funny about the first lecture of a semester is that everyone goes. In fact, week 1 must be the only time everyone is at the same lecture.

I didn't understand any of it, but hey I'll probably bang out 2,000 words on it anyway.

Another uni-related thing I did today was a questionnaire for a Psychology dissertation. Somehow to me it seemed to be forging some link between internet porn and rape! Shocking! I'm always looking at porn and look at me! I turned out fine! (twitch, twitch).

In other news, the past week has been largely fruitless and dull. I've kind of moved into the 21st century with the acquisition of a flat screen monitor for my PC! It makes it look so futuristic, which is hilarious as it still runs on Windows 98. Thanks anyway Sam.

Also, Middlesbrough still can't win so McClaren has done what any manager would do in his position, taken them all to Malaga for training in the sun. I'd argue that only Adam Johnson and Lee Cattermole deserve a holiday. Brad Jones doesn't, as he seems to on a constant one when he hits the pitch anyway. Bit of effort please Brad.

I still think we can get out of the relegation battle we've been sucked into, it's just that we need to concentrate for 90 mins. How many last minute goals can we concede? Newcastle, Nuneaton and now Wigan, it's getting silly. Throwing away games in the worst fashion.

Anyway, I'm still basking in the updates my housemate Kes got for PES 5, Rochemback is actually good on it! Huzzah!

Now for some work,
God rest ye merry gentlemen (and women)

Bread, Boro, Booze and other B-related things....

Yo yo, just a quickie to say hello to anyone who may actually take time to read this sprawling mess of shit vocab.

To keep you up-to-date with my goings-on since my last post, I've decided to adopt a list-from, like the one below:

1. I Almost died...
With pain and embarassment when Boro lost 4-0 (sorry was it 7? I switched Match of the Day off when the fourth went in) to Arsenal. But alas, I was resurrected by going to the Nuneaton game and actually enjoying watching a Boro game. Our first win in months, so the heads are up for Wigan on Saturday.

2. I went home...
For all of two days to see people and remember what its like when you have no real commitments. It was a good relaxing two days...and I topped my Mp3 player up too, good work.

3. Killed a swan cos i'm an anarchist...
Only joking! On both counts. Really.

4. Discovered that academics kill your imagination...
This will be covered in a future post, but i expect other students will know what I mean.

5. Had a couple of hangovers...
As I drank far too sensibly when I was home. This has meant that on my two nights out in Lincoln, I have been absolutely sloshed and sick on both mornings after.

6. Saw my girlfriend...
For the first time in three weeks. Always a pleasure in many ways...oh my god how fucking smarmy did that sound?

So thats about it I went to Pizza Hut yesterday but I don't think thats enough of an event to merit a bullet point.

In other news, listen out for Pharrell's new song. Not cos its good, because its first line is 'she has an ass like a loaf of bread, i want to slice'....wanker.

Peace.

Oh! Emotions!

WARNING: watch out here kids, this one is actually...dare I say it...serious, very little humour of any kind...as usual.

Well here I am once more, back in Lincoln and ready to work my arse off for the powers that be.

I've literally just walked into uni in good spirits with my good friend Harry, only to start to getting emotional over a number of random subjects! Yeah, really! Here they are:

1. Katherine Horton
The murder of the student in Thailand at New Year has always struck a chord with me since it hit the news and I don't really know why in particular. However, reading that the girl's abusers and eventual killers have been found made me happy yet also rather sombre.

On the phone to her mother at the time, a million miles from home, on her own...fucking disgraceful act by two human beings.

2. Ugo and Super Schwarz
I know its not exactly in the same league as the above passage, but as I said these are random.
These two players moving on makes me quite sad. Both excellent servants to Boro, they will be sorely missed.

Unfortunately it is true that Ugo is simply not the player he was a few seasons back, as his work for us this season has shown.

Schwarz however, should always be remembered for his contribution to the team for the last 9 years. A great keeper, I'm humbled somewhat that his reasons for leaving are simply wanting to move on. He's been shaky in the last couple of games but his honesty in simply admitting he was fed up after so many years is quite refreshing.

I just hope that the exits of these players, along with the exit of (hopefully) Nemeth (but Jesus, not Jimmy! Please!)...will give Boro the funds to push forward and get a quality centre-half and right winger that we need. I personally believe the kids are the future. If you're reading Mac, think about it.

3. Back in Lincoln
Yeah, the final semester of the final year. I have a dissertation to do and a life to lead. Very strange to think i'm teetering on an abyss once this semester finishes. What will I do? Where will I go? Oh god.

4. Starsailor on Radio 1
Just if you thought the world couldn't get any stranger....everyones favourite plod-rockers have returned to national airwaves!

On the way back here I heard their new single 'This Time' on Jo Whiley's show! In my review of their album (published in the recent issue of TAG, available in all shops), I backed them to be the surprise hit of the festivals this year and I reckon I'm back on with that claim!

Well if it can happen to Embrace...